Finally, I have some time to compose my messy thoughts and touch on a subject that really irks me. As a new mom, I am constantly “educated” by seasoned mothers. They of course, know it all, and being a new mom, I am clearly uneducated and I couldn’t possibly have done any research. This is my PSA to you, seasoned mom. You, the one who watches me struggle and judges me whether it’s silently or to my face. You, the one who thinks because I’m young, that I obviously don’t know what the hell I’m doing. And definitely you, who thinks because you have 10 kids (maybe I’m exaggerating), that you absolutely, positively, know it all.
Firstly, please for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, remember that at some point, you were a new mom too. I know it’s hard to fathom, but you didn’t always know it all. I promise, at one point in time, you were the mother who didn’t know if you should or shouldn’t give your baby a pacifier, who didn’t know whether co sleeping was a good or bad idea, and you definitely didn’t know how to react to pushy, judgmental folk like yourself. Obviously, I am not addressing all seasoned mothers. I have a few very wonderful friends who I look to for advice and help. Primarily because I know they won’t shove their unwanted opinions down my throat 24/7.
Secondly, I’m begging you, stop with the “just wait” crap. How in any way is that helpful? For example, I distinctly remember when I was pregnant and said “man I’m tired”, a woman commented “oh just wait until the baby gets here!” I’m young, not an idiot. I know there is sleepless nights when you become a mother, but I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t be tired any other time. Also, I would argue that, while I get less sleep now that she’s here, the quality of sleep I get is much better than when I was a pregnant whale who could barely sit up or roll over.
The last thing I want to touch on is that yes, maybe you are right. Maybe what I’m doing is wrong. Maybe I’m completely clueless, but there is absolutely no need to attack me (or any other mom). Just approach the situation with friendliness and respect, and I’ll probably take what you say a lot more seriously. It’s simple, I promise. A little respect goes a long way, especially these days where so many people lack basic human compassion.
The reason I’m writing this, is because as a new mom, many times I feel attacked, and I know I’m not the only one. There’s nothing like joining a page for motherly
judgment “support” and reading hundreds of comments of grown women attacking each other’s parenting choices. Newsflash ladies: there is no right way to parent. Gasp! But, but, I can’t possibly be wrong! Yes, yes you can, and sometimes you are. Here is the bottom line. Are your kids fed daily? You’re a wonderful mom! Do you love your kids? You’re a wonderful mom! Do you take care of your kids to the best of your ability? YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOM!
I’m curious, what is something that really grinds your gears?
Also, for those wondering… The Flying Spaghetti Monster: here you go.